Computing Jokes



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Computing Jokes


Murphy’s Laws of Computing:

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human… to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.

7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.

9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

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How do dolphins compute?

They use a Central Porpoising Unit.

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Why is the number 237 magical?

Because it is Hex ED.

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Why do computer scientists get confused between Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

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What says β€œPieces of nine, Pieces of nine”?

A Parroty Error.

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A statistician told a friend that he never took airplanes, β€œI have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on the plane,” he explained, β€œand although this probability is low, it is still too high for my comfort.”

Two weeks later, the friend met the statistician on a plane.

β€œHow come you changed your theory?” he asked.

β€œOh, I didn’t change my theory, it’s just that I subsequently computed the probability that there would simultaneously be two bombs on a plane. This probability is low enough for my comfort. So now I simply carry my own bomb.”

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