Computer Scientist Jokes



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Computer Scientist Jokes


A group of computer scientists walk into a restaurant and ask for a table for 4.

The waitress replies, β€œBut sir, there are 5 of you.”

The computer scientist says, β€œNo, look, there are 4 of us, see! 0...1...2...3...4...”

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Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

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A group of engineers and computer scientists from the same university are attending a conference in the next town. They decide to take the train.

The engineers buy one ticket each. The computer scientists scratch their heads, pool their cash, and buy a single ticket.

The engineers think this is strange but watching computer scientists get in trouble should be fun.

The conductor comes around to get the tickets, and all the computer scientists disappear into the bathroom.

The conductor knocks on the bathroom door and says, β€œTicket please.”

They slide the ticket under the door, pool their savings, have a few drinks and arrive at the conference in good form.

On the way home, the engineers buy a single ticket. The computer scientists pool their money and buy all the tickets except one. The engineers scratch their heads, but decide not to worry about it and head to the bar.

The conductor comes around, and the engineers pile into the bathroom.

The computer scientist without a ticket promptly walks over to the bathroom, knocks on the door and says, β€œTicket please.”

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Why do computer scientists get confused between Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

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Why do computer scientists make bad arborists?

Because they always plant their trees upside down.

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A computer scientist named Bob was about to leave to rent a movie.

As Bob was heading out, his wife said, β€œWhile you’re out, pick up some eggs.”

Bob never came back.

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What do marathoners and computer scientists have in common?

They want the fastest running time.

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