Enjoy our team's carefully selected Computer Programming Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I’ve been programming too much.
I can barely cout of my eyes.
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Got a B in my computer programming class.
Call that a C++.
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Programming in C can be difficult at times.
But you have to admit it builds tcharacter.
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My girlfriend told me I care more about my programming job than about her.
I told her she is the #1 thing I care about.
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Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity.
Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.
Satan is visibly upset, and cries, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well, then,” says God, “let us see if Jesus fared any better.”
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, “B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact. How did he do it?”
God smiled all-knowingly, “Jesus saves.”
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What is the most used language in programming?
Profanity.
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Programming is 10% writing code.
And 90% understanding why it’s not working.
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