Code Jokes



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Code Jokes


Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity.

Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.

Satan is visibly upset, and cries, β€œI have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”

β€œVery well, then,” says God, β€œlet us see if Jesus fared any better.”

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, β€œB-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact. How did he do it?”

God smiled all-knowingly, β€œJesus saves.”

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Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday.

Rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.

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Coding Rules:

β€’ If it’s working, don’t touch it.

β€’ Bad code can’t be debugged. Neither can good code.

β€’ If you don’t know something, Google it.

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What code does a depressed programmer write?

β€œGoodbye, world!”

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Programming is 10% writing code.

And 90% understanding why it’s not working.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

After a very long pause.

β€œJava.”

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A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code.

He refused to comment.

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What does a programmer wear?

Whatever is in the dress code.

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What did the Java code say to the C code?

You’ve got no class.

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