Clean Dad Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Clean Dad Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Clean Dad Jokes


What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?

Lazy bones.

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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in people?

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Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?

Because they’re not whenwolves.

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What happens when you drop a snowball in water?

It gets wet.

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Which is faster, heat or cold?

Heat, because you can catch a cold.

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What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?

By live stream.

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Why did the robot go on vacation?

He needed to recharge his batteries.

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What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?

A watermelon.

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What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company?

Reapply.

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What does nitrogen become when the sun comes up?

Daytrogen.

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Son: β€œDad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”

Dad: β€œNo sun.”

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Friend 1: β€œMy dog rolled around in the mud all day. How does he smell?”

Friend 2: β€œLike dirt?”

Friend 1: β€œNope, with his nose.”

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If my nose runs, should I catch it?

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What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?

Your nose.

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The thing people overlook most of the time is their noses.

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I was sick and told my mom I had a runny nose.

She told me, β€œYou should tell it to walk instead.”

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The nose was very tired because it kept running.

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My mom got the flu.

She said that it was like her nose went on strike.

I suggested, β€œYou should picket.”

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Yesterday I complimented my dad that he smells good.

He just replied, β€œThat’s because I use both my nostrils.”

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What do you give a dog with a fever?

Mustard because it’s the best thing for a hot dog.

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Little Johnny yells upstairs: β€œDad, there’s a salesman here with a mustache.”

β€œTell him I’ve got one.”

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My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer.

I told her no. I ate it on the couch.

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β€œWaiter, will my pizza be long?”

β€œNo sir, it will be round!”

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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?

Nothing, you just run away!

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Teacher: β€œTake a seat”.

Student: β€œWhere do you want me to take it to?”

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Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it?

A β€œB”.

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What do you call London without electricity?

Londoff.

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Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!

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The best way to keep a skunk from smelling is to hold its nose.

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Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.

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Why does an alien prefer a light year to a normal year?

Because it has got less calories.

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How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls! If they were boys, they’d be uncles.

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β€œWaiter, this food tastes kind of funny?”

β€œThen why aren’t you laughing?!”

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What do you call a witch’s garage?

A broom closet.

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What goes β€œOh, Oh, Oh”?

Santa walking backwards!

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Can a dog jump higher than a house?

Well, duh. Houses can’t jump.

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