Clean Dad Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Clean Dad Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?
Lazy bones.
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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in people?
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Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?
Because they’re not whenwolves.
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What happens when you drop a snowball in water?
It gets wet.
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Which is faster, heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch a cold.
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What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
By live stream.
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Why did the robot go on vacation?
He needed to recharge his batteries.
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What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
A watermelon.
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What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company?
Reapply.
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What does nitrogen become when the sun comes up?
Daytrogen.
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Son: “Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
Dad: “No sun.”
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Friend 1: “My dog rolled around in the mud all day. How does he smell?”
Friend 2: “Like dirt?”
Friend 1: “Nope, with his nose.”
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If my nose runs, should I catch it?
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What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
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The thing people overlook most of the time is their noses.
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I was sick and told my mom I had a runny nose.
She told me, “You should tell it to walk instead.”
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The nose was very tired because it kept running.
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My mom got the flu.
She said that it was like her nose went on strike.
I suggested, “You should picket.”
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Yesterday I complimented my dad that he smells good.
He just replied, “That’s because I use both my nostrils.”
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What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard because it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
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Little Johnny yells upstairs: “Dad, there’s a salesman here with a mustache.”
“Tell him I’ve got one.”
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My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer.
I told her no. I ate it on the couch.
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“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away!
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Teacher: “Take a seat”.
Student: “Where do you want me to take it to?”
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Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it?
A “B”.
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What do you call London without electricity?
Londoff.
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Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!
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The best way to keep a skunk from smelling is to hold its nose.
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Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
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Why does an alien prefer a light year to a normal year?
Because it has got less calories.
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How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls! If they were boys, they’d be uncles.
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“Waiter, this food tastes kind of funny?”
“Then why aren’t you laughing?!”
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What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.
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What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking backwards!
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Can a dog jump higher than a house?
Well, duh. Houses can’t jump.
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