Clean Dad Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Clean Dad Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why do Polish people have ski at the end of their names?
Because they can’t spell toboggan.
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What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?
Lazy bones.
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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in people?
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Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?
Because they’re not whenwolves.
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What happens when you drop a snowball in water?
It gets wet.
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Which is faster, heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch a cold.
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What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
By live stream.
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Why did the robot go on vacation?
He needed to recharge his batteries.
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What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
A watermelon.
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What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company?
Reapply.
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What does nitrogen become when the sun comes up?
Daytrogen.
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Son: “Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
Dad: “No sun.”
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Friend 1: “My dog rolled around in the mud all day. How does he smell?”
Friend 2: “Like dirt?”
Friend 1: “Nope, with his nose.”
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If my nose runs, should I catch it?
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What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
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The thing people overlook most of the time is their noses.
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I was sick and told my mom I had a runny nose.
She told me, “You should tell it to walk instead.”
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The nose was very tired because it kept running.
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My mom got the flu.
She said that it was like her nose went on strike.
I suggested, “You should picket.”
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Yesterday I complimented my dad that he smells good.
He just replied, “That’s because I use both my nostrils.”
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What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard because it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
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Little Johnny yells upstairs: “Dad, there’s a salesman here with a mustache.”
“Tell him I’ve got one.”
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My wife asked me if I ate the ice cream she had in the freezer.
I told her no. I ate it on the couch.
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“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
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What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away!
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Teacher: “Take a seat”.
Student: “Where do you want me to take it to?”
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Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it?
A “B”.
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What do you call London without electricity?
Londoff.
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Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!
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The best way to keep a skunk from smelling is to hold its nose.
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Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It’s very time-consuming.
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Why does an alien prefer a light year to a normal year?
Because it has got less calories.
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How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls! If they were boys, they’d be uncles.
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Customer: “Waiter, this food tastes kind of funny.”
Waiter: “Then why aren’t you laughing?”
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What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.
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What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking backwards!
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Can a dog jump higher than a house?
Well, duh. Houses can’t jump.
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