Enjoy our team's carefully selected Civil Engineering Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What did a dam say to the river?
“Water you thinking?”
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What did a brick say to a wall?
“I’ve got your back!”
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Concrete and steel had a debate.
It was a hard conversation.
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So, it’s about 1961, and I am ever so proudly part of a land survey crew working in a local neighborhood.
A young boy comes out from his house and states, “My mom wants to know what you are doing here!”
I state, “Well, we’re surveyors!”
And as the crew continues down the street, I hear his mom ask, “Well, what are they doing, Tommy?”
To which Tommy responds, “Don’t worry, mom, they are survivors!”
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Some wise guys show a civil engineer an 8 ounce glass with 4 ounces of water in it.
They ask him the age old question, “Is the glass half empty or half full?”
The civil engineer responds, “The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”
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A female civil engineer is doing a field survey and finds a talking frog.
“Kiss me and I’ll turn into a prince and marry you,” it says.
The engineer excitedly picks up the frog and continues with her job. And she doesn’t kiss it.
Finally the frog asks, “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”
She says, “What? No. I don’t have time to be with a prince. But a talking frog—that’s a keeper!”
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What do you call the child of a civil engineer?
A truss fund baby.
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You might be a civil engineer if you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they did not get enough sleep.
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What’s the difference between a doctor and a civil engineer?
A doctor kills people one at a time.
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What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
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Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
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