Christmas Puns



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Christmas Puns. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Christmas Puns


What’s a hairdresser’s favorite Christmas song?

β€œOh, comb all ye faithful...”

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What would you call Santa if you found him at the South Pole?

A lost clause.

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What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker!

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How you can tell that Santa is real?

You can always sense his presents!

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What do you call a cat in the desert?

Sandy Claws!

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What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claus-trophobia!

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What does Santa spend his wages on?

Jingle Bills.

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How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle.

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Did Rudolph go to school?

Nope! He was elf-taught.

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What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?

Picking his nose!

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Why can’t Christmas trees knit?

Because they lose their needles.

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Who is Santa’s favorite singer?

Elf-is Presley.

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Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

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What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet.

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What happened to the man that stole an advent calendar?

He got 25 days.

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Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?

He had nobody to go with.

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What happens to elves when they are naughty?

Santa gives them the sack!

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Why was the turkey in the pop group?

Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

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What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

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What do you say to a stressed snowman?

Chill out!

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What do you call a snowman in summer?

A puddle.

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What do snowmen do in summer?

Chillout.

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Why isn’t Santa allowed to shave his beard?

It’s in his Clause.

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Guess what Santa calls his elves?

Subordinate Clauses!

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Santa Clause’s elves went to school, guess what they learned?

The elfabets.

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Whats the Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf?

β€œMensch on a bench”.

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What is green, white, and red all over?

An elf with a sunburn.

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Why did the elf put his bed in the fireplace?

Because he wanted to sleep like a log.

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What do you call it when an elf takes a photo of himself?

Nothing! Elves don’t exist!

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An honest lawyer, a happy Santa and a merry elf find 100 $. How do they split it?

50 dollars to Santa, 50 dollars to the elf, because there is no such thing as an honest lawyer!

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What do a man who’s had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

Decorative balls.

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkeyβ€”he’s always stuffed.

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Why does the programmer think the Grinch’s attitude isn’t bad?

He says it’s in beta.

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What goes β€œOh, Oh, Oh”?

Santa walking backwards!

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