Christmas Puns
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Christmas Puns. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
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How you can tell that Santa is real?
You can always sense his presents!
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What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!
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What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia!
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What does Santa spend his wages on?
Jingle Bills.
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How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
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Did Rudolph go to school?
Nope! He was elf-taught.
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What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
Picking his nose!
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Why can’t Christmas trees knit?
Because they lose their needles.
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Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
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Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
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What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet.
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What happened to the man that stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.
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Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had nobody to go with.
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What happens to elves when they are naughty?
Santa gives them the sack!
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Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
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What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
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Why was the snowman looking through a pile of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
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What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?
The “inedible snowman”.
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Which is harder to make? A blonde, brunette or a red-headed snowman?
A blonde, because you have to hollow out its head.
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What happens when you drop a snowball in water?
It gets wet.
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What do you say to a stressed snowman?
Chill out!
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What do you call a snowman in summer?
A puddle.
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What do snowmen do in summer?
Chillout.
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Why isn’t Santa allowed to shave his beard?
It’s in his Clause.
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Guess what Santa calls his elves?
Subordinate Clauses!
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Santa Clause’s elves went to school, guess what they learned?
The elfabets.
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When is it acceptable for a nose to be in a salad?
When it’s a snowman’s nose!
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Whats the Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf?
“Mensch on a bench”.
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What is green, white, and red all over?
An elf with a sunburn.
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Why did the elf put his bed in the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
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What do you call it when an elf takes a photo of himself?
Nothing! Elves don’t exist!
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An honest lawyer, a happy Santa and a merry elf find 100 $. How do they split it?
50 dollars to Santa, 50 dollars to the elf, because there is no such thing as an honest lawyer!
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What do a man who’s had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?
Decorative balls.
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
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Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
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Why does the programmer think the Grinch’s attitude isn’t bad?
He says it’s in beta.
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What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking backwards!
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