Enjoy our team's carefully selected Christmas One-Liner Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Chicken to turkey:
“Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You’re lucky, with us it’s any Sunday.”
😄 😄 😄
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
😄 😄 😄
This is ridiculous. It’s July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks.
One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.
😄 😄 😄
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise.
He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD and now it’s fine.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so old her first Christmas was The First Christmas.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
😄 😄 😄
My sinus infection is really getting into the Christmas Spirit.
It’s all coming out green and red.
😄 😄 😄
Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high... he just couldn’t stop as fast.
😄 😄 😄
Santa saw your Facebook pictures...
You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
😄 😄 😄
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a slim body.
Please do not mix it up like last year.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so stupid I told her Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
😄 😄 😄
Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so short she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, “Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?”
😄 😄 😄
Not saying I live in a rough area but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up!
😄 😄 😄
