Chicken Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Chicken Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

What do you call a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.

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One place where I lived had unusual sounds at night.

It sounded sort of like hundreds of chickens, but very faint and only under the darkest moon.

Turns out the place had been built over an old egg and chicken farm, which had become haunted by the noises of the deceased chickens.

We had a poultrygeist.

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It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.

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It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, “Order!”

So I replied, “Fried chicken, mac and cheese, and cola.”

Now I’m being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

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“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today,” said the boy.

“Why not, son?”

“Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.”

“But why don’t you want to go today?”

“Because our English teacher died yesterday!”

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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday.

After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in.

He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.

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An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot, and asked the owner if she could buy it.

The owner said, “Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me, you do not want that parrot!”

She said, “I can teach it good manners.”

But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.

She took it out and said, “Did you learn your lesson?”

It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds.

She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet.

The parrot said “Brr... Yes, I learned my lesson, but what did the chicken do?"

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Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?

Because there was a KFC on the other side.

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Bula decides it’s time to become a businessman, so after reading many chicken jokes, it seems like a chicken farm would be the best idea.

Said and done. First, buy 100 chickens, after the second month another 100, and keep it for a whole year.

After a year, at the New Year’s Eve party, he meets Johnny, who used to say the best chicken jokes before.

Johnny: “Well, how’s the business going?”

Bula: “Bad brother, sorry about everything!”

Johnny: “Why?”

Bula: “I don’t have any chickens anymore!”

Johnny: “Good god, why?”

Bula: “If I know, I think I’m doing something wrong. Either I plant them too deeply or don’t water them enough, but one doesn’t raise the hen.”

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A chicken and an egg walk into a bar.

The barman says, “Who’s first?”

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Psychiatrist: “What seems to be the problem?”

Patient: “I think I'm a chicken.”

Psychiatrist: “How long has this been going on?”

Patient: “Ever since I came out of my shell.”

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