Candy Puns and Hilarious Candy Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Candy Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Candy Jokes


What do dentists hand out at Halloween?

Candy. It’s good for business.

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When I was a kid I could go to the store with only $5 and come home with bread, milk, hot dogs and my favorite candy.

You can’t do that these days...

Too many damned security cameras.

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which is the most feminine candy?

it’s Hershey!

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Why did M&M go to University?

Because he wanted to be a Smartie.

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What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?

A PayDay.

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Why did the candy bar cross the road?

Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!

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Which is the clumsiest candy bar?

A Butterfinger!

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Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?

A Bounty-ful!

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What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?

A Ferrari Rocher!

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How do you know that workers in factory that produces M&M’s are protesting?

They start painting the m letters upside-down.

How do you know that workers in factory that produces M&M’s are protesting really hard?

They paint the m letters on the wrong side of the chocolate candy.

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Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench, eating six bars of chocolate.

A man walked up and noticed Johnny devouring the sweets.

β€œSon,” said the man, β€œeating too much candy isn’t good for you.”

β€œMy grandfather lived to be 100,” Johnny replies.

β€œDid he eat six chocolate bars a day, too?” the man asks.

β€œNo,” said Johnny, β€œHe minded his own damn business!”

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There was a candy party, guess who was late as usual?

Choco-late.

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Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.

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Last Halloween there was a knock on the door.

I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, β€œHoney there’s a witch at the door. What shall I do?”

She shouted back, β€œJust give her some candy and tell her to get lost.”

My mother-in-law hasn’t spoken to me since.

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I’m not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.

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Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?

He didn’t have the stomach for it!

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