Camping Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Camping Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Camping Jokes

I went to an English camping party with some vegetables.

We stayed in a tea-pea.

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Yo daddy so fat when he goes camping, the bears hide THEIR food.

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I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, β€œIf your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”

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Two kids are camping in their backyard, it’s gotten pretty late and neither of them have watches.

β€œWhat time do you think it is?” One of them asks the other.

β€œJust make a ton of noise,” says the other.

The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyways.

After a few seconds of screaming a light turns on in another yard and a neighbour yells, β€œYOU CRAZY KIDS, IT’S 2 IN THE MORNING!!”

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My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleep on the sofa.

I said that it made me feel manly like I was camping.

With a really angry bear somewhere close by...

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It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.

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Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.

The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.

The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.

The second guy says, β€œWhat are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”

β€œI don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. β€œI just need to outrun you.”

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.

After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

β€œWatson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, β€œI see millions of stars.”

β€œWhat does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

β€œAstronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke:

β€œWatson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!”

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