Camp Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Camp Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Camp Jokes

If you open a camp to help kids with ADHD.

Is it a concentration camp?

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You can’t run through a campsite.

You can only run because it’s past tents.

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The crusty navy chief noticed a new face and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?”

“John,” the new seaman replied.

“Look, I don’t know what kind of foolishness they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name!” the chief scowled.

“It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, whatever.

And you are to refer to me as ‘Chief’. Do I make myself clear?!”

“Aye, Aye, Chief!”

“Now that we’ve got that straight, what’s your last name?”

The seaman sighed, “Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief.”

“Okay, John, here’s what I want you to do …”

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I went to a church men’s campout a few years back. Everyone was sitting around the fire cooking breakfast.

Joe, an old-time rancher, starts cooking some homemade sausage.

A few minutes go by, then someone asks, “Hey Joe, what kind of sausage is that? It smells good.”

“To which Joe replies, “Chocolate sausage.”

This gets everyone’s attention.

When the sausage finished cooking, Joe offers a piece to anyone who wanted to try it.

A few of the guys take a cut and eat it, then get confused looks on their faces.

The same guy asks Joe again, “This doesn’t taste any different than normal sausage. Chocolate?..”

Still waking up, Joe clears his throat and says, “The horse was named Chocolate.”

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A drill sergeant ran his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on.

As they stood there, exhausted, he put his face up to one of the recruit’s face and said, “I’ll bet you’re wishing I would die so you could come and urinate on my grave, aren’t you?”

And the recruit says, “No, sir! When I get out of the army I’m never gonna stand in another line again!”

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