Café Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Café Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Café Jokes


What do you call a fire at the Internet café?

An e-mergency.

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Where do birds meet for coffee?

In a nest-cafe.

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An Indian walks into a café with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.

He says to the waiter, “Me want coffee.”

The waiter says, “Sure chief, coming right up.”

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.

The next morning, the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, “Me want coffee.”

The waiter says, “Whoa, Tonto. We’re still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?”

The Indian smiles and proudly says, “Me in training for upper management: come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day.”

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What did the fancy bearded goat order at the café?

A goa-tea.

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Three pregnant women are chatting in a café.

Heather says, “I got my ultrasound done yesterday. I’m pregnant with triplets!”

“I got mine done yesterday too,” says Linda. “I’m pregnant with septuplets!”

“I think I’ll get my ultrasound done next week,” says Martha.

The three women chat some more.

Finally, Heather says, “I got Disney+ last month. The first movie I watched on it was ‘The Three Little Pigs’.”

“I got Disney+ last month too,” says Linda. “The first movie I watched on it was ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’.” When Martha hears this, she instantly goes pale.

“It’s okay if you don’t have Disney+,” says Heather.

“I do have it,” says Martha. “It’s just that the first movie I watched on it was ‘101 Dalmatians’.”

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