Broccoli Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Broccoli Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Broccoli Jokes

A high class looking woman sat down next to me on the train.

I took in a breath and asked aloud, “What’s that smell?”

She turned to me, looked down her nose and said, “Chanel, 500 dollars an ounce.” She turned away.

About 10 minutes later, I let out a silent fart.

She turns to me and asks, “What’s that smell?”

I say, “Broccoli, $1.49 a pound.”

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What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man—a melonccoli.

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Did you hear about Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother?

His name was Brocco Lee.

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What kind of socks do you need to plant broccoli?

Garden hose.

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Broccoli looks into the trunk of his car.

He sees an extra tire and exclaims, “Oh! I have a-spar-a-gus!”

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A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, “Ginger!”

The woman thought, “This is great!” and a big smile came across her face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, “Dammit, Ginger!”

Once again the woman smiled and thought, “Yes!”

A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, “Dammit, Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!”

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Broccoli: “Hey, I look like a tree.”

Mushroom: “Wow, I look just like an umbrella.”

Walnut: “I look exactly like a brain.”

Banana: “Man, can we change the topic please?”

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