Breakup Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Breakup Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Breakup Jokes

Hey, I know you’re in love, but it’s time to break up with your bed and get out of there.

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The wife tried to scare her husband by leaving him a breakup letter after he returned home late.

She left a note, saying:

I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.

Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, her husband comes home, and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.

She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

β€œShe’s finally gone... Yeah, I know... I’m coming to see you... Put on that nightgown I like... Love you... Can’t wait to see you...”

He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.

Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote.

β€œI can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”

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I remember the day my ex sent me a breakup text, my mom asked me what I was reading.

I told her, β€œTips to cook delicious food.”

And then she asked me why I was crying.

I answered, β€œI have reached where they are cutting onions.”

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What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?

You deserve butter.

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Why didΒ Taylor SwiftΒ bring a broken leg to her concert?

Because it wanted to experience firsthand the β€œbreak-up” songs she’s famous for.

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Why did the influenza virus break up with its girlfriend?

She was too cold to him.

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Why did the meteor break up with Uranus?

It felt like it was crashing and burning.

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Why did the moon break up with Uranus?

It wanted someone with a brighter personality.

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How do people know Taylor Swift had a breakup?

Because she releases a whole album about it.

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I had to break up with my girlfriend, she doesn’t like Star Trek.

I told her I need some space.

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Why did the peanut butter and jelly break up?

Because they were always spread too thin.

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Why did the jelly break up with the peanut butter?

Because it was too clingy.

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Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend?

Because she needed some space.

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I asked my girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging out with her friends.

She said, β€œYes!”

I said, β€œGood, because I’m breaking up with you.”

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Why did the mushroom break up with her boyfriend?

Because he was toxic!

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