Brain Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Brain Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Brain Jokes

The human brain is amazing.

It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.

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Teacher: β€œClass, choose between money and brain.”

Akpos: β€œI’d go for the money!”

Teacher: β€œI’d go for brain!”

Akpos: β€œWell, everybody goes for what he doesn’t have.”

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A brain walks into a bar and says, β€œI’ll have a pint of beer please.”

The barman looks at him and says, β€œI’m sorry, but I can’t serve you.”

β€œWhy not?” asks the brain.

β€œYou’re already out of your head.”

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I finally figured out what’s wrong with my brain.

On the left side, there is nothing right.

On the right side, there is nothing left.

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Doctor: β€œYour brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in.”

Me: β€œThanks for reminding me.”

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Bison Theory

A herd of bison can only move as fast as the slowest bison, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

The slowest bison are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the bison, the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster.

The moral of the story: Drink more beer, it will make you smarter.

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A lawyer was interviewing a doctor about the death of a patient.

β€œWhen you examined the patient, did you check his pulse?” asked the lawyer.

β€œI didn’t,” said the doctor.

β€œAnd did you listen for a heartbeat?” said the lawyer.

β€œNo, I did not,” the doctor said.

β€œSo, in other words,” the lawyer said, β€œwhen you signed the death certificate, you had NOT taken adequate steps to confirm he was dead.”

β€œWell, let me put it this way,” said the doctor, β€œat that point, the man’s brain was in a jar on my desk, but for all I know, I guess he could’ve been out practicing law somewhere!”

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Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?

Because they just had their brains scooped out!

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Why do pumpkins do poorly in school?

Because eventually they end up with all their brains scooped out.

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