Enjoy our team's carefully selected Boss Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
The Boss always insisted that only Abdul should serve his coffee, but
yesterday, this conversation happened.
Boss: โAbdul, since the last 8 years you have brought me coffee filled to the brim without spilling even a drop. How do you manage that over these stairs?โ
Abdul: โSir, just before I climb up the stairs, I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.โ
Today is Abdulโs farewell party.
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Good morning!
The boss is out sick so Iโm taking it upon myself to declare today a sick day for us all. Go back to bed!
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After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a workerโs boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, โIf you had 4 pickles and I asked for one, how many would you have left?โ
Quickly he replied, โIf it was you who asked, Iโd still have 4 pickles.โ
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When my boss asked me why I showed up late for our Zoom meeting, I told him that he wouldnโt believe the network traffic.
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My boss told me, โDress for the job you want, not the job you have.โ
Now Iโm sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Spiderman.
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When I got to work Monday, I was limping something awful. My boss noticed and asked me what had happened.
I told him, โOh, nothing. Itโs just an old football injury that acts up once in a while.โ
My boss eyed me suspiciously and said, โGee, I never knew you played football.โ
I said, โWell, I donโt. I hurt it yesterday when I lost $100 on New York Jets. I put my foot through the television...โ
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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, โHow much money do you make a week?โ
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, โI make a little over $400 dollars a week, why?โ
The CEO said, โWait right here.โ
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, โHereโs four weeksโ pay. Now GET OUT and donโt come back.โ
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, โDoes anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?โ
From across the room a voice said, โSure, he was the Pizza delivery guy from Dominoโs and was just waiting to collect the money.โ
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What do your boss and a slinky have in common?
Theyโre both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
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A woman is approaching a very small Bistro.
She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in front of her she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer.
Then she bends over the desk and starts to caress his beard.
โAre you the boss of this Bistro?โ she asks and touches tenderly his cheek.
โEhhh. No. Not at all!โ the barkeeper replies.
โWould you please call him here?โ the lady asks and gently touches his hair.
โOh, Iโm very sorry, but no. Impossible!โ the barkeeper sighs who has fun with this situation.
โWould you then please do me a great favour?โ the lady asks and follows gently the line of his lips.
โOf course. What ever you wish!โ the barkeeper moans.
โI want to leave a message for the boss,โ she says and let first one, then two fingers slip into his mouth which he gently sucks on.
โWhat message?โ the barkeeper asks with the two fingers in his mouth.
โPlease tell him that there is no paper, nor soap, nor towel on the ladyโs toilet.โ
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Boss: โDo you believe in life after death?โ
Employee: โNo, because there is no proof of it.โ
Boss: โWell there is now!โ
Employee: โHow?โ
Boss: โWhen you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncleโs funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left.โ
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Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, โI can make the boss give me the day off.โ
The man replies, โAnd how would you do that?โ
The woman says, โJust wait and see.โ
She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, โWhat are you doing?โ
The woman replies, โIโm a light bulb.โ
The boss then says, โYouโve been working so much that youโve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.โ
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, โWhere are you going?โ
The man says, โIโm going home, too. I canโt work in the dark.โ
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My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. Weโll see about that.
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When my boss asked me who was stupid, me or him, I told him he doesnโt hire stupid people.
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The boss said I should go home because I really donโt look good.
I donโt know if I should be happy to get the extra rest, or just offended.
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Two friends talking:
โHey, can I borrow some money? Iโm broke.โ
โGet money from your job.โ
โI got fired.โ
โWhy?โ
โMy boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside.โ
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