Blue Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Blue Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Blue Jokes


What do you call a red, white and blue pie?

Pastry-otic.

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A man went to the pet shop to buy a budgie.

β€œI would like a blue budgie please” he said to the assistant.

β€œI haven’t got a blue one,” the assistant replied. β€œI’ll sell you a green one and a tin of paint. You can paint it yourself.”

β€œOK,” said the man, β€œthat’ll do.”

The next day, the man comes back. The budgie is dead.

β€œLook at this,” said the man. β€œIt died while I was painting it.”

β€œThat’s odd,” said the assistant, β€œI’m sure that paint was safe.”

The man replies, β€œI never got round to painting it. It died when I was burning the old paint off…”

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A man calls home to his wife and says, β€œHoney, I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, β€œYes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?”

β€œI did, they’re in your tackle box.”

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Why was the burger sad?

Because he had the blue cheese.

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When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.

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Why was red in awe of orange?

Because orange blue green.

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You are more precious than my blue suede shoes.

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Did you hear about the color bomb?

Yeah, it blue up.

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My sister was diagnosed as color-blind.

The revelation really came out of the blue.

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I read a joke about colors once.

It blue my mind.

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Blue jeans are immortal.

They never die, they just fade away.

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I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light.

Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.

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I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy.

Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.

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I was under the blues.

So I had to blue my nose occasionally.

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The favorite colors of fishes are deep blue and aquamarine blue.

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What do you call cheese that is sad?

Blue cheese.

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What is a bear’s favorite dessert?

Blue beary pie.

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Once I tried to paint the sky, but I blue it.

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Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.

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It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo.

They get really blue.

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What’s the coldest fish in the sea?

A blue whale.

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Why is the ocean always blue?

Because the shore never waves back.

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Red ship hits blue ship...

Sailors marooned.

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What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?

β€œCheer up!”

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What is red, white, and blue?

A sad candy cane.

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What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?

A scrub jay.

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I couldn’t help but feel blue when I spilled my blueberry smoothie all over my shirt.

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We’re feeling so blue.

We used to be the Blue Man Group.

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I tried to dye my dog’s hair blue.

But I guess he was blue-ish.

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I went to a party in blue shoes.

But everyone said it was a blue-sy idea.

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When the paint store was blue-out, they called it a palette cleanser.

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When the blueberry made a mistake, it had to blue-pologize.

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The blue light special was on sale.

But it left me feeling blue-tifully broke.

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The blue cheese thought he was the king.

But he was just a cheesy guy.

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The ocean was feeling blue.

So I told her to sea the brighter side.

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She’s feeling so blue.

She might as well be called the ocean.

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What do you call a sad berry?

A blue-fruit.

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Why do blue flowers grow so well?

They have a natural love for Azure.

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I saw a blue crab today.

It was quite a claw-some sight.

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Did you hear about the blue plane that crashed?

They said it was a skyblunder.

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What do you get when you cross a blue jay with a parrot?

A bird with no identity.

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I made a blue smoothie today.

It was berry good.

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Why do people love blue jokes?

They’re so pun-derful.

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Did you hear about the sky that fell?

It turned the whole world blue.

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Why do blue people make bad singers?

They’re always feeling blue.

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I saw a blue horse the other day.

I guess you could say it was a rare-colored mare.

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I tried to dye my hair blue, but it didn’t work out.

I guess you could say it was a dye-lemma.

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Why did the blue paint cross the road?

To get to the other hue.

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Did you hear about the blue pencil who broke up with his girlfriend?

He decided to draw the line.

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I’m feeling blue today, so I decided to paint my room blue.

I guess you could say it’s a shade of blue situation.

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The baby blue eyes were coldly warm.

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The sky was a cheerful shade of melancholy blue.

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His true blue loyalty was betrayed by his green envy.

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His blue humor was laughably depressing.

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I told my coworker I was going to wear a blue shirt to work.

And he said he was going to wear his blue-suit-of-armor.

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I heard about a blue whale who was feeling down.

It was a huge ordeal.

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My friend said he wanted to start feeling more blue.

So I gave him a bottle of blue-cation.

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I went to a restaurant where all the menus were printed in blue ink.

I guess they were trying to get in touch with their blue-side.

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I heard that a blue jay and a cardinal fell in love.

But their relationship was a little blue-blooded.

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I asked my boss if things were looking up with our company.

And he said the future was blue-skied and full of possibility.

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I thought about dying my hair blue for a change.

But it turned out to be more of a blue-hair affair.

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My friend said he was in a blue funk.

But I told him not to worry because I’m an expert at funk-squashing.

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I went to a blues concert dressed in all black.

I guess I wasn’t feeling very blues-sympathetic.

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I asked my friend what he was doing to stay happy in his job.

And he said he was always searching for blue skies.

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I was feeling blue once, so I went outside to walk it off.

Instead, I got struck by blue lightning.

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My boss told me that work might be a little blue today.

But I didn’t know that meant the copiers were taking the day off.

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I went to a party once where everyone was dressed in blue.

It was like a sea of navy-tees.

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I heard about a blue tick hound who was feeling down.

His bark was way worse than his bite.

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People always ask why I’m feeling blue.

I just tell them I’m still waiting for my prince charming to come riding in on a blue motorbike.

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I bought some blue shoes to wear to the office.

But they made me feel downright feet-talistic.

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My coworker said that being blue is in his blood.

I asked him if he had been bitten by a smurf.

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My friend said he was going to start a feeling-blue club, but I declined.

I’m more of an upbeat kind of person.

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I told my boss I was feeling blue, so he painted my office the color of the ocean. Now I’m working in a sea of tranquility.

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The detective was following a blue-ribbon lead.

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He’s a blue-chip investment for any company.

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The politician gave a blue-sky speech full of promises.

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He was seeing the world through blue-tinted glasses.

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The party was a blue-ribbon event.

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He has a blue-collar job.

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What’s a blueberry’s favorite song?

Anything from the Blue Album by Weezer.

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Why do blueberries make bad employees?

They always end up getting the blues.

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Why did the blue-faced man get lost?

He was feeling blue and couldn’t find his way.

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What did the sky say to the ocean?

Nothing, they just had a blue period together.

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Why do blueberries get along with everyone?

They’re naturally blue-tiful.

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What did the blue crayon say to the red crayon?

β€œHey, pal, want to blue me away?”

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Why did the Smurfs kick Papa Smurf out of their village?

He was giving them all the blues.

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What do you call a depressed unicorn?

A blue-corn.

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I hate it when my blue jeans fade.

They’re not feeling so blue anymore.

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Did you hear about the sad blueberry?

It was feeling blue.

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Did you hear about the blue alien that landed on Earth?

He had an out of this world.

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What did the blue paint say to the red paint when they met?

β€œYou’re looking rosy!”

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What’s a blue shoe?

A shoe with the blues.

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What did the blue cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

β€œHallou-mi!”

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What did the blue crayon say to the yellow crayon?

β€œThis isn’t cray-on you.”

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What did one blue eye say to the other?

Between us, something smells.

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What did the blue square say to the red triangle?

β€œHi-angle!”

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Why did the blue marker shy away from the red marker?

It was a little shy-nero.

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What do you call a blue owl?

A hoo-dini.

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What do you call a sneaky blue bean?

A navy bean.

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What did the blue crayon say to the green crayon?

β€œYou’re green-crayon me!”

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Why was the blueberry always tired?

Because it was feeling a little blue-combed.

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What did the blue paint brush say to the red paint brush?

β€œI blue you away.”

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Why did the blue-colored fruit hide?

It was feeling blue.

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What’s a sad shade of blue?

Bereaved.

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What do you call a depressed blue crayon?

Blue-tiful.

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Why do blue whales need computers?

To go on their whale-net.

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Why did the blue paint laugh at the brown paint?

Because he was blue-tiful.

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Why was the blue marker sad?

Because its life was point-less.

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What do you call a blue cat that likes to race?

A fast purrr-ple.

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What do you call a sad little blue planet?

A gloom.

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Why did the blue bird get kicked out of the forest?

Because it was a bird of pray.

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Did you hear about the blue man who walked into a bar?

He was feeling quite cyan.

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Why was the blue mold fired from the cheese factory?

Because it was too blue.

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What’s blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

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Why did the police officers arrest the blue crayon?

Because it was in the blue.

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What did the blue tie say to the little red dress?

β€œYou go ahead, I’ll just hang around.”

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What do you call a group of blue whales?

A pod of blues.

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What do you call a sad blueberry?

A blue-berry.

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Why don’t sharks like to eat blue whales?

Because they’re all blubber and no beef.

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Feeling blue? A blueberry muffin can be your rescue!

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What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?

The crews were marooned.

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My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it’s literally just cheese with bacteria.

I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

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Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic?

It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.

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Purple is my favorite color!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

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How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?

He has a red sticker on his bumper that says β€œIf this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast”.

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I never drink beer with an orange slice in it.

Except once in a Blue Moon.

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I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon...

The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.

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Did you see the moon this evening?

It’s absolutely blue-tiful!

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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?

Smurf poop.

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Daisy: β€œWhy do you have two different colored socks on? One’s blue, but the other is green.”

Little Johnny: β€œI’m not sure. It’s weird. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.”

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