Enjoy our team's carefully selected Blue Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a red, white and blue pie?
Pastry-otic.
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A man went to the pet shop to buy a budgie.
“I would like a blue budgie please” he said to the assistant.
“I haven’t got a blue one,” the assistant replied. “I’ll sell you a green one and a tin of paint. You can paint it yourself.”
“OK,” said the man, “that’ll do.”
The next day, the man comes back. The budgie is dead.
“Look at this,” said the man. “It died while I was painting it.”
“That’s odd,” said the assistant, “I’m sure that paint was safe.”
The man replies, “I never got round to painting it. It died when I was burning the old paint off…”
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A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey, I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?
He says, “Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?”
“I did, they’re in your tackle box.”
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Why was the burger sad?
Because he had the blue cheese.
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When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
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Why was red in awe of orange?
Because orange blue green.
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You are more precious than my blue suede shoes.
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Did you hear about the color bomb?
Yeah, it blue up.
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My sister was diagnosed as color-blind.
The revelation really came out of the blue.
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I read a joke about colors once.
It blue my mind.
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Blue jeans are immortal.
They never die, they just fade away.
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I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light.
Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
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I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy.
Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
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I was under the blues.
So I had to blue my nose occasionally.
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The favorite colors of fishes are deep blue and aquamarine blue.
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What do you call cheese that is sad?
Blue cheese.
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What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
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Once I tried to paint the sky, but I blue it.
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Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.
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It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo.
They get really blue.
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What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale.
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Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
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Red ship hits blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
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What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
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What is red, white, and blue?
A sad candy cane.
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What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay.
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I couldn’t help but feel blue when I spilled my blueberry smoothie all over my shirt.
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We’re feeling so blue.
We used to be the Blue Man Group.
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I tried to dye my dog’s hair blue.
But I guess he was blue-ish.
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I went to a party in blue shoes.
But everyone said it was a blue-sy idea.
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When the paint store was blue-out, they called it a palette cleanser.
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When the blueberry made a mistake, it had to blue-pologize.
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The blue light special was on sale.
But it left me feeling blue-tifully broke.
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The blue cheese thought he was the king.
But he was just a cheesy guy.
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The ocean was feeling blue.
So I told her to sea the brighter side.
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She’s feeling so blue.
She might as well be called the ocean.
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What do you call a sad berry?
A blue-fruit.
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I saw a blue crab today.
It was quite a claw-some sight.
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Did you hear about the blue plane that crashed?
They said it was a skyblunder.
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What do you get when you cross a blue jay with a parrot?
A bird with no identity.
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I made a blue smoothie today.
It was berry good.
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Why do people love blue jokes?
They’re so pun-derful.
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Did you hear about the sky that fell?
It turned the whole world blue.
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Why do blue people make bad singers?
They’re always feeling blue.
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I saw a blue horse the other day.
I guess you could say it was a rare-colored mare.
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I tried to dye my hair blue, but it didn’t work out.
I guess you could say it was a dye-lemma.
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Why did the blue paint cross the road?
To get to the other hue.
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Did you hear about the blue pencil who broke up with his girlfriend?
He decided to draw the line.
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I’m feeling blue today, so I decided to paint my room blue.
I guess you could say it’s a shade of blue situation.
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The baby blue eyes were coldly warm.
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The sky was a cheerful shade of melancholy blue.
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His true blue loyalty was betrayed by his green envy.
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His blue humor was laughably depressing.
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I told my coworker I was going to wear a blue shirt to work.
And he said he was going to wear his blue-suit-of-armor.
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I heard about a blue whale who was feeling down.
It was a huge ordeal.
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My friend said he wanted to start feeling more blue.
So I gave him a bottle of blue-cation.
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I went to a restaurant where all the menus were printed in blue ink.
I guess they were trying to get in touch with their blue-side.
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I heard that a blue jay and a cardinal fell in love.
But their relationship was a little blue-blooded.
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I asked my boss if things were looking up with our company.
And he said the future was blue-skied and full of possibility.
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I thought about dying my hair blue for a change.
But it turned out to be more of a blue-hair affair.
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My friend said he was in a blue funk.
But I told him not to worry because I’m an expert at funk-squashing.
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I went to a blues concert dressed in all black.
I guess I wasn’t feeling very blues-sympathetic.
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I asked my friend what he was doing to stay happy in his job.
And he said he was always searching for blue skies.
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I was feeling blue once, so I went outside to walk it off.
Instead, I got struck by blue lightning.
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My boss told me that work might be a little blue today.
But I didn’t know that meant the copiers were taking the day off.
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I went to a party once where everyone was dressed in blue.
It was like a sea of navy-tees.
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I heard about a blue tick hound who was feeling down.
His bark was way worse than his bite.
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People always ask why I’m feeling blue.
I just tell them I’m still waiting for my prince charming to come riding in on a blue motorbike.
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I bought some blue shoes to wear to the office.
But they made me feel downright feet-talistic.
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My coworker said that being blue is in his blood.
I asked him if he had been bitten by a smurf.
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My friend said he was going to start a feeling-blue club, but I declined.
I’m more of an upbeat kind of person.
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I told my boss I was feeling blue, so he painted my office the color of the ocean. Now I’m working in a sea of tranquility.
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The detective was following a blue-ribbon lead.
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He’s a blue-chip investment for any company.
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The politician gave a blue-sky speech full of promises.
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He was seeing the world through blue-tinted glasses.
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The party was a blue-ribbon event.
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He has a blue-collar job.
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What’s a blueberry’s favorite song?
Anything from the Blue Album by Weezer.
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Why do blueberries make bad employees?
They always end up getting the blues.
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Why did the blue-faced man get lost?
He was feeling blue and couldn’t find his way.
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What did the sky say to the ocean?
Nothing, they just had a blue period together.
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Why do blueberries get along with everyone?
They’re naturally blue-tiful.
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What did the blue crayon say to the red crayon?
“Hey, pal, want to blue me away?”
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Why did the Smurfs kick Papa Smurf out of their village?
He was giving them all the blues.
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What do you call a depressed unicorn?
A blue-corn.
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I hate it when my blue jeans fade.
They’re not feeling so blue anymore.
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Did you hear about the sad blueberry?
It was feeling blue.
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Did you hear about the blue alien that landed on Earth?
He had an out of this world.
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What did the blue paint say to the red paint when they met?
“You’re looking rosy!”
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What’s a blue shoe?
A shoe with the blues.
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What did the blue cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
“Hallou-mi!”
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What did the blue crayon say to the yellow crayon?
“This isn’t cray-on you.”
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What did one blue eye say to the other?
Between us, something smells.
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What did the blue square say to the red triangle?
“Hi-angle!”
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Why did the blue marker shy away from the red marker?
It was a little shy-nero.
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What do you call a blue owl?
A hoo-dini.
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What do you call a sneaky blue bean?
A navy bean.
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What did the blue crayon say to the green crayon?
“You’re green-crayon me!”
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Why was the blueberry always tired?
Because it was feeling a little blue-combed.
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What did the blue paint brush say to the red paint brush?
“I blue you away.”
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Why did the blue-colored fruit hide?
It was feeling blue.
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What’s a sad shade of blue?
Bereaved.
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What do you call a depressed blue crayon?
Blue-tiful.
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Why do blue whales need computers?
To go on their whale-net.
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Why did the blue paint laugh at the brown paint?
Because he was blue-tiful.
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Why was the blue marker sad?
Because its life was point-less.
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What do you call a blue cat that likes to race?
A fast purrr-ple.
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What do you call a sad little blue planet?
A gloom.
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Why did the bluebird get kicked out of the forest?
Because it was a bird of pray.
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Did you hear about the blue man who walked into a bar?
He was feeling quite cyan.
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Why was the blue mold fired from the cheese factory?
Because it was too blue.
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What’s blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
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Why did the police officers arrest the blue crayon?
Because it was in the blue.
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What did the blue tie say to the little red dress?
“You go ahead, I’ll just hang around.”
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What do you call a group of blue whales?
A pod of blues.
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What do you call a sad blueberry?
A blue-berry.
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Why don’t sharks like to eat blue whales?
Because they’re all blubber and no beef.
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Feeling blue? A blueberry muffin can be your rescue!
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What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?
The crews were marooned.
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My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it’s literally just cheese with bacteria.
I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.
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Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic?
It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.
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Purple is my favorite color!
I like it more than blue and red combined.
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How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker on his bumper that says “If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast”.
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I never drink beer with an orange slice in it.
Except once in a Blue Moon.
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I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon...
The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.
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Did you see the moon this evening?
It’s absolutely blue-tiful!
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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?
Smurf poop.
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Daisy: “Why do you have two different colored socks on? One’s blue, but the other is green.”
Little Johnny: “I’m not sure. It’s weird. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.”
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