Enjoy our team's carefully selected Birthday One-Liner Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
On your 40th birthday, you might feel old.
You might be right!
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I’m not 40.
I’m 18 with 22 years of experience!
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40 is when you finally get your head together...
And your body has other ideas.
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Wishing you a warm and bright 40th birthday!
It couldn’t be any other way with that many candles on your cake.
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40 is when your body gives your brain a list of things it’s not going to do anymore!
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You know you’re 40 when you have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize.
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My girlfriend isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.
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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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I’ve opened three birthday cards, and I’m already $150 up.
I love being a postman!
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I just paid for a full haircut, conditioner, neck and scalp massage, face shave and then mustache trim and wax.
It’s my wife’s birthday and I thought, “What the hell! I’ll treat her.”
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Warning!
Birthday donuts will make your clothes shrink!
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Yo mama so old her birth certificate says “Expired”.
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Yo mama so ugly the government decided to move Halloween to her birthday.
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Yo mama so fat every time she turns around it’s her birthday.
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I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest!
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When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
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