Enjoy our team's carefully selected Birthday One-Liner Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
My girlfriend isnβt talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday.
Iβm not sure how. I didnβt even know it was her birthday.
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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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Iβve opened three birthday cards, and Iβm already $150 up.
I love being a postman!
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I just paid for a full haircut, conditioner, neck and scalp massage, face shave and then mustache trim and wax.
Itβs my wifeβs birthday and I thought, βWhat the hell! Iβll treat her.β
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Warning!
Birthday donuts will make your clothes shrink!
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Yo mama so old her birth certificate says βExpiredβ.
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Yo mama so ugly the government decided to move Halloween to her birthday.
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Yo mama so fat every time she turns around itβs her birthday.
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I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest!
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When I was born I was so surprised I didnβt talk for a year and a half.
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