Bird Puns and Hilarious Bird Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bird Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What did the dad turkey say to his stubborn child?
“If your mother could see you now, she’d be turning over in her gravy.”
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Do songbirds get mad at hummingbirds...
Because they don’t know the words?
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What does a predator call a hummingbird?
Fast food!
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Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
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What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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It was so cold that roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
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Why do birds fly south for the fall?
Because it’s quicker than walking.
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What do you get when you put a chicken, a cow, and a pig together?
A hot dog.
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Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
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One place where I lived had unusual sounds at night.
It sounded sort of like hundreds of chickens, but very faint and only under the darkest moon.
Turns out the place had been built over an old egg and chicken farm, which had become haunted by the noises of the deceased chickens.
We had a poultrygeist.
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It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
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It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
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I gave my pet bird a haircut and now he thinks he’s James Bond.
Well, I suppose he is a Shorn Canary.
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My twin brothers dressed up as a bird this Halloween, guess what they said?
Trick or tweet.
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“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today,” said the boy.
“Why not, son?”
“Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.”
“But why don’t you want to go today?”
“Because our English teacher died yesterday!”
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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday.
After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.
Minutes later, the rooster walks in.
He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.
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What’s the worst thing about having a big nose?
Birds are always perching on it!
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An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot, and asked the owner if she could buy it.
The owner said, “Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me, you do not want that parrot!”
She said, “I can teach it good manners.”
But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.
She took it out and said, “Did you learn your lesson?”
It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds.
She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet.
The parrot said “Brr... Yes, I learned my lesson, but what did the chicken do?"
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels.
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Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
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Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a KFC on the other side.
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Bula decides it’s time to become a businessman, so after reading many chicken jokes, it seems like a chicken farm would be the best idea.
Said and done. First, buy 100 chickens, after the second month another 100, and keep it for a whole year.
After a year, at the New Year’s Eve party, he meets Johnny, who used to say the best chicken jokes before.
Johnny: “Well, how’s the business going?”
Bula: “Bad brother, sorry about everything!”
Johnny: “Why?”
Bula: “I don’t have any chickens anymore!”
Johnny: “Good god, why?”
Bula: “If I know, I think I’m doing something wrong. Either I plant them too deeply or don’t water them enough, but one doesn’t raise the hen.”
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A chicken and an egg walk into a bar.
The barman says, “Who’s first?”
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Psychiatrist: “What seems to be the problem?”
Patient: “I think I'm a chicken.”
Psychiatrist: “How long has this been going on?”
Patient: “Ever since I came out of my shell.”
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