Bike Puns and Hilarious Bike Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bike Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Bike Jokes


Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bike.

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Chuck Norris gets 4-wheel drive out of his bicycle.

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Yes, money can’t buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.

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Have you heard about the new game getting released?

It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, the graphics are truly real life, it has an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible.

It’s called β€œGo outside and ride your bike!”.

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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard stops him and says, β€œWhat’s in the bags?”

β€œSand,” answered Juan.

The guard says, β€œWe’ll just see about that, get off the bike!”

The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.

He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

The next day, the same thing happens.

The guard asks, β€œWhat have you got?”

β€œSand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.

Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard later meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

β€œHey, Buddy,” says the guard, β€œI know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”

Juan sips his beer and says, β€œBicycles.”

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Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.

Mickey asked, β€œGoofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?”

Goofy replied, β€œBecause it is too tired to walk.”

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Two engineering students were crossing campus when one asked the other, β€œWhere did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, β€œWell, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, β€œTake what you want.”

The second engineer nodded approvingly, β€œGood choice, the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

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Who do you sell second hand bikes to?

A re-cyclist.

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Some cyclists are like clowns:

They dress funny.

They don’t follow any rules.

If anything bad happens to them, everyone laughs at them.

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What do a cyclist and a politician have in common?

Both demand you respect them, but don’t want to follow the same rules as you.

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I’m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment.

I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.

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Why was the cyclists right arm shorter than his left?

Because once he left his right turn signal on.

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Me and my friend were riding on my motorcycle on a particularly windy day when we saw a cyclist in front of us, pedaling in the middle of the road, with a car honking furiously behind him.

So we drove over and asked the guy, β€œWhy don’t you move to the side and let the car overtake you?”

The guy replied, β€œI am trying!”

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A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

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A guy sees his mother-in-law riding a bicycle.

β€œWhere are you going?” he asks.

β€œTo the cemetery,” she replies.

Guy: β€œAnd who is going to return the bike?”

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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of feminine product, and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, β€œSon, how old are you?”

β€œEight,” the boy replied.

The man continued, β€œDo you know what these are used for?”

The boy replied, β€œNot exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either.”

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I got a wooden bike with wooden handles and wheels. Guess what?

It woo-den start.

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