Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bike Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I avoid bike trails after dark.
They are full of cycle paths.
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I banged my bike against the wall today.
It was wheelie unfortunate.
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If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
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I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it.
I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore, which is understandable.
The bike was already retired.
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I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
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I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike, but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
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While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm.
I decided to cyclone.
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What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
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Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bike.
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Chuck Norris gets 4-wheel drive out of his bicycle.
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Yes, money can’t buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?
The pavement.
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One day, both the elephant and the ant are going to movie on a bike. They met with an accident.
The ant died in the accident, but the elephant was safe. How?
Because the elephant was wearing helmet.
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Have you heard about the new game getting released?
It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, the graphics are truly real life, it has an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible.
It’s called “Go outside and ride your bike!”.
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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”
“Sand,” answered Juan.
The guard says, “We’ll just see about that, get off the bike!”
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, “What have you got?”
“Sand,” says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard later meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”
Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”
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Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.
Mickey asked, “Goofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?”
Goofy replied, “Because it is too tired to walk.”
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Two engineering students were crossing campus when one asked the other, “Where did you get such a great bike?”
The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
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Who do you sell second hand bikes to?
A re-cyclist.
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Some cyclists are like clowns:
They dress funny.
They don’t follow any rules.
If anything bad happens to them, everyone laughs at them.
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What do a cyclist and a politician have in common?
Both demand you respect them, but don’t want to follow the same rules as you.
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I’m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment.
I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.
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Why was the cyclists right arm shorter than his left?
Because once he left his right turn signal on.
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Me and my friend were riding on my motorcycle on a particularly windy day when we saw a cyclist in front of us, pedaling in the middle of the road, with a car honking furiously behind him.
So we drove over and asked the guy, “Why don’t you move to the side and let the car overtake you?”
The guy replied, “I am trying!”
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A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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How did the barber win the bike race?
He took a short cut.
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A guy sees his mother-in-law riding a bicycle.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“To the cemetery,” she replies.
Guy: “And who is going to return the bike?”
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of feminine product, and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”
“Eight,” the boy replied.
The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”
The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either.”
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I got a wooden bike with wooden handles and wheels. Guess what?
It woo-den start.
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