Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bible Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What’s a sheep’s favorite holy text?
The Baa-ble.
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When is the first math homework problem mentioned in the Bible?
When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.
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The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
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Yo Mama is so old she’s got a Bible autographed by Jesus.
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How many people can you fit in one Honda?
Well, the Bible said that all 12 disciples were in one Accord.
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Look up “rib” in the dictionary and it says “To vex, irritate or annoy”.
Look up “rib” in the Bible and it says “Woman”.
Coincidence?
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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father—who was a minister—if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, “Son, I’m really proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied, “Yes, son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
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Santa saw your Facebook pictures...
You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
“Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?”
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”
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There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
“Is there anything breakable in here?”, asked the postal clerk.
“Only the Ten Commandments”, answered the lady.
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