Best Man Speech Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Best Man Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Best Man Jokes

Bride, please put your left hand flat on the table.

Groom, please place your hand on top of hers.

Enjoy this moment, groom, because it’s the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.

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Firstly I’d like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech.

In fact this must be the third time today that I’ve stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

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I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet.

After a couple of hours I’d found some really, really good stuff.

But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech.

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I do have to say though, groom, just how lucky you are. You will leave here today with a wife who is warm, loving and caring.

And, bride, how lucky you are as well. You leave here today having gained a lovely dress and a wonderful bouquet of flowers.

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We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth.

That’s right. I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.

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