Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bean Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Saw a homeless man eating a tin of baked beans and I thought it was really sad.
So I walked over to him and said, “I think you’re supposed to open that first.”
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How does a baked bean learn from its mistakes?
It uses Heinz sight.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Bean.”
“Bean, who?”
“Bean awhile since I’ve seen you!”
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What do you call a sneaky blue bean?
A navy bean.
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What vegetable can tie your shoes?
String beans.
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Success is like a fart.
It only bothers people when it’s not their own.
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What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role.
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What is a poet’s favorite legume?
Rhyma-beans!
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What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?
Tear gas.
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Why wasn’t the young veggie allowed to start in the game?
He was a green bean.
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Why was the green bean ashamed?
It saw the cranberry dressing.
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Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew?
Because one more, and it’d be too farty.
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Customer: “Waiter! Waiter! What is the moldy stuff?”
Waiter: “That’s a bean taco.”
Customer: “I’m sure it’s been a taco, but what is it now?!?”
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I heard Dunkin’ Donuts has a cold brew now.
Cool beans.
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A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off.
The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly.
When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing “Happy birthday!”.
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Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
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