Bathroom Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bathroom Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why don’t you hear psychiatrists when they go to the bathroom?
The p is silent.
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Student: “Can I go to the bathroom?”
Teacher: “It’s may.”
Student: “No, it’s January.”
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What’s faster: lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
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I bought a toilet brush since I saw one in pretty much everyone’s bathroom.
But after giving it a try for a week I decided to go back to using toilet paper.
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A child asks, “Mommy, does God use our bathroom?”
The mother replies, “No, darling. Why do you ask?”
The child says, “Because every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, “Oh God, are you still in there?!”
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My wife said, “If we ever win the lottery, I want you to buy me something compact, shiny, and can go from 0 to 200 in three seconds.”
I figured why wait, so surprised her that night... with a shiny new bathroom scale.
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A blind man visits Texas.
When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed, “Wow, this bed is big!”
“Everything is bigger in Texas,” says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge bar stool and orders a beer.
A mug is placed between his hands, “Wow, these drinks are big!”
The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”
After downing a few drinks, the blind man asks where the bathroom is.
“Second door to the right,” says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in.
Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
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A man walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender.
He says, “You’ve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?” The bartender turns to the band and yells, “Frank, I’ve got a lead on the guy who ruined your sax!”
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When I was a young boy, my father taught me how to be a bearded man.
He took me into the bathroom, picked up a razor, and ate it.
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I got a job at a paperless office.
Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
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