Banker Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Banker Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Banker Jokes

A blonde woman walks into a bank in New York City before leaving on vacation and requests a $5,000 loan.

โ€œOkay, miss, is there anything youโ€™d like to use as collateral?โ€ the banker inquires.

The lady says, โ€œOf course, yes. Iโ€™ll drive in my Rolls Royce.โ€

Stunned, the banker inquires, โ€œA Rolls Royce for $250,000? Really?โ€

The woman is completely positive. As the bankers and loan officers laugh at her, she hands over the keys. They check her credentials to ensure she is the rightful owner of the title. Everything is in order. They keep it for two weeks in their underground garage.

When she returns, she repays the $5,000 loan plus the $15.41 interest.

The loan officer says, โ€œMiss, we appreciate your business, but I have one question. We looked you up and discovered you are a multi-millionaire. What makes you think you need $5,000?โ€

โ€œWhere else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?โ€ the woman responds.

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Did you hear about the investment banker who became a horse breeder?

He was always looking for the most stable returns.

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What did the banker say to the electrician?

โ€œWe will pay for your current account.โ€

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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

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Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?

Heโ€™s so happy that heโ€™s giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.

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The banker fell overboard from a friendโ€™s sailboat.

The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, โ€œCan you float alone?โ€

โ€œObviously,โ€ the banker replied, โ€œbut this is a heck of a time to talk business.โ€

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A farmer goes to the bank for a loan. He needs money to lay in his annual crop of peanuts. Times have been hard and heโ€™s hopeful the bank will lend him the funds to buy seed and hopefully, he can get a good crop.

The banker apologizes and explains that, although many farmers have asked, peanuts crops have been so poor that the bank is simply unwilling to loan to anyone planning to plant peanuts. However, the banker says, the bank is willing to loan on other crops. The banker recommends sunflowers.

The farmer is devastated, but eventually agrees to give sunflowers a try. Anything to get the loan and get some seed in the ground, he says.

At harvest time, another farmer asks how the sunflowers worked out.

The farmer admits that theyโ€™ve done very wellโ€”so well that he expects to be able to pay back the bank, put money away for the winter and even, possibly, have money left over for next yearโ€™s peanuts!

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