Jokes About Balls

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Ball Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road.

He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.

“What are those big bulges in your running shorts?” she asked.

“Tennis balls,” answered the man, smiling back.

“Wow,” said the blonde, looking upset. “That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable.”

😄 😄 😄

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.

His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached.

The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis.

“Incredible!,” says his friend.

“Medical science is amazing!”

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off.

Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached.

The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.

“Incredible!,” says his friend.

“Medical science is amazing!”

Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head.

Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached.

The next day he goes to see his friend but can’t find him.

He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, “Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday.”

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, “Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.”

😄 😄 😄

The computer programmer to his son:

“Here, I brought you a new basketball.”

Son:

“Thank you, daddy, but where is the user’s guide?”

😄 😄 😄

What does a man who’s had a vasectomy and a Christmas tree have in common?

Decorative balls.

😄 😄 😄

A soldier ran up to a nun.

Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.”

The nun agreed.

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq.”

The nun said, “I understand completely.”

The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don’t want to go to Iraq either...

😄 😄 😄

The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

😄 😄 😄

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.

Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

😄 😄 😄

An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.

He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”

😄 😄 😄

Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?

If he raises them both, he’d fall down.

😄 😄 😄

A man complains to his wife about not having anyone to play golf with.

His wife said, “Well what about your friend Clyde?”

The man replied, “Would you want to play with someone who cheats on his score and moves the ball when you aren’t looking?”

“No, I guess not,” replied his wife.

The man said, “Neither would Clyde.”

😄 😄 😄