Bakery Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bakery Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Bakery Jokes

An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery.

The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves.

He says to the Irishman, โ€œThat took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didnโ€™t even see me.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s just simple thievery,โ€ the Irishman replied. โ€œIโ€™ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.โ€

The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says, โ€œSir, I want to show you a magic trick.โ€

The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick.

The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked two more times.

And after eating them again the owner says, โ€œOkay my friend, whereโ€™s the magic trick?โ€

The Irishman then said, โ€œLook in the Englishmanโ€™s pockets.โ€

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Which bakery should you go to on the Fourth of July?

The one that sells pastries with stars and stripes. The rest are just un-pastry-otic.

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I bought a chessboard cake from the bakerโ€™s today.

I took one bite and said, โ€œItโ€™s stale, mate.โ€

He seemed surprised and said, โ€œNo, mate.โ€

I handed it to him and said, โ€œCheck mate.โ€

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I lost my job as a baker when I made a customer violently choke.

It was my managerโ€™s fault for telling me to put my hair in a bun.

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Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

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The arrogant baker declared, โ€œYouโ€™ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.โ€

The customer agreed, โ€œIt must be the double glazing.โ€

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How do beat cops define the word โ€œdoughnutโ€?

A local bakery owner who is absolutely crazy about money.

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What do cops call it when theyโ€™re called out to the local donut bakery?

Bread Alert!

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How does the German baker greet his customers?

Gluten Morgen!

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