Bacon Jokes



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Bacon Jokes


A French couple, an Italian couple and a Polish couple go out to dinner.

The French husband says to his wife, β€œPass the honey, honey.”

The Italian man says to his wife, β€œPass the sugar, sweety.”

The polish guy, not quite understanding the situation, says to his wife, β€œPass the bacon, you fat pig.”

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Why was the bacon tree so angry when the axemen came?

Because he thought it was a ham-bush.

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What did the pig say when he was placed in the desert?

Oh no, I’m bacon.

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What made the pig go to the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon.

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Why did yogurt hate bacon?

Because he was uncultured.

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What was the name of the bacon movie?

Hamlet.

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Which celebrity had the best kind of smell?

Kevin Bacon.

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What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

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What do you call a bacon with a Scottish accent?

Ham-ish.

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What was the name of the frog’s favorite crisp dish?

Croaky bacon.

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What is a pressing thought of every pig?

β€œWhy do all bacons get cooked and cookies get baked?”

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What do you call bacon with salt on it?

Salt and Peppa.

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An older couple is watching TV and the man stands up and says, β€œI’m going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?”

His wife answers, β€œYes, please get me some chocolate ice cream with sprinkles.”

The man starts to leave, when his wife says, β€œHoney, are you sure you don’t want to write that down, your doctor said you may need to in order to remember.”

β€œNo, no, I’m sure I’ll remember what you asked for.”

A few minutes later, he returns with fried eggs and toast.

His wife says, β€œWell, see, you did need to write that down. You completely forgot my bacon!”

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What happens to pigs when they stay in the sun too long?

Turn into bacon.

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