Avocado Puns and Hilarious Avocado Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Avocado Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Avocado Jokes

What do you call an aboriginal hanging in a tree?


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A man has gone on a month-long vacation, leaving his friend to take care of his grandmother, his cat, and the avocado tree in his backyard.

A few days into the vacation, the man gets a call from his friend, who says, β€œYour cat got run over by a car and died.”

The man, understandably, is horrified and says that it was too sudden. He tells his friend that what he should do is first, tell him that his cat ran away, then the next day, tell him that his cat got stuck at the top of the avocado tree, and the third day tell him that his cat died.

His friend thinks that this is a reasonable request.

A week later, the man gets another phone call from his friend.

β€œWhat?” he asks.

His friend replies, β€œYour grandmother is stuck at the top of the avocado tree.”

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A wife asks her husband, β€œCould you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.”

A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.

β€œWhy did you buy six cartons of milk?” the wife asks.

He replies, β€œThey had avocados.”

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If two avocado are β€œavocados”.

Then shouldn’t three avocado be β€œavocatres”, and four be β€œavoquatro”, and five be β€œavocinco”?

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What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?


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What did the avocado do at the wedding?

Make a toast.

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Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes, and you have to smear them with avocado?

I really suck at guac-a-mole.

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Accidentally got some guacamole in my eyes.

And now I think I have guacoma.

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What can you find on avocado feet?


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What do you call an animal found under the avocado tree?

A guaca-mole.

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What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?


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How does a robot eat its guacamole?

With micro-chips.

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I’m trying to learn how to find a ripe avocado.

It’s not that hard.

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What does an avocado say to its pit?

Without you, I’m empty inside.

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What does an avocado call its children?


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Yo mama so fat when she ate an Avocado it was Nickado.

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