Aviation Jokes



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Aviation Jokes


What language do things that fly in the sky speak?

Plane English.

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My brother has a pilotโ€™s license but only uses it for private flights. So he placed advertisements all over the plane.

Now he flies commercial.

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Airline pilot to passengers, โ€œLadies and gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that weโ€™re lost. The good news is that we are making good progress.โ€

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An aircraft was traveling from LA to New York.

About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, โ€œWe have lost one engine, but donโ€™t worry, there are still three left. However, we will need seven hours to get to New York instead of five.โ€

A little later, the pilot announced, โ€œAnother engine failed, but we still have two left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New York.โ€

Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, โ€œA third engine was broken. Never fear because the planeโ€™s still able to fly on one engine. However, itโ€™ll take another 18 hours to get from here to New York.โ€

At this point, one passenger said, โ€œGee, I hope we donโ€™t lose that last engine, or weโ€™ll be up here forever!โ€

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Two hunters hired a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.They bagged six.

As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the plane can take only three moose.

The two hunters objected strongly, stating, โ€œLast year we shot six moose and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours.โ€

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

Unfortunately, even on full power, the little plane couldnโ€™t handle the load and went down a few minutes after take off.

Climbing out of the wreck, one hunter asked the other, โ€œAny idea where we are?โ€

He replied, โ€œI think weโ€™re pretty close to where we crashed last year.โ€

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Two falcons are watching an air show where fighter pilots are racing their jets against one another.

One falcon turns to the other and says, โ€œMan, I thought we were fast, but those guys are insane.โ€

The second falcon turns back and says, โ€œYouโ€™d also fly that fast if your ass was on fire.โ€

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