Art Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Art Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Art Jokes

Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”


β€œArt, who?”

β€œArt you going to a birthday party?”

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What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?

Norman Rock Wells.

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Why did the flu go to the art exhibit?

It heard there was a lot of culture there.

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Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?

Because all they draw is blood.

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Artists know how to draw the line, so you can’t really peer pressure them.

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What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects?

A con artist.

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The artist was great.

He could always draw a crowd.

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What is the result of an art competition?

A draw.

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Did you hear about the red panda’s art exhibition?

It was panda-monium!

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A painter was murdered while working in his latest painting.

The police still can’t see the full picture.

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My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.

When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

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What killed the painter?

He had too many strokes.

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An art dealer and a painter are having a conversation.

Art dealer: β€œI have good news and bad news. Good news is, a person came up to me this afternoon to ask about the value of your art. When I told him that it would increase in value after your death, he immediately bought ALL of them.”

Painter: β€œWow! What’s the bad news?”

Art dealer: β€œHe was your doctor.”

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Husband: β€œIt says here, that over 5,000 camels are used to make paintbrushes each year.”

Wife: β€œIsn’t it amazing what they can teach camels to do nowadays?”

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A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, β€œWhat’s this?”

The kid says, β€œA picture of a cow eating grass.”

The teacher asks, β€œWhere’s the grass?”

The kid says, β€œThe cow ate it all.”

β€œOk, then where’s the cow?”

β€œIt left because there was no more grass.”

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A young artist exhibits his work for the first time and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, β€œWould you like my opinion on your work?”

β€œYes,” says the artist.

β€œIt’s worthless,” says the critic.

The artist replies, β€œI know, but tell me anyway.”

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How can an artist fill in a CV?

Drawing from experience.

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It’s amazing that Leonardo da Vinci could paint and invent and still find time to be a crime-fighting turtle.

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My friend was a struggling artist until he decided to just do sculptures.

He made over six figures last year.

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What kind of shoes do artists wear?


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Today, I found out there are places that sell fake scallops made out of white fish.

There are a lot of cod artists out there.

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A couple goes to an art gallery.

They find a picture of a woman with only her privates covered with leaves.

The wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks: β€œWhat are you waiting for?”

The husband replies, β€œAutumn.”

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What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

β€œI love you with all my art!”

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