Art Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Art Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Art Jokes

Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?

Because all they draw is blood.

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Artists know how to draw the line, so you can’t really peer pressure them.

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What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects?

A con artist.

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The artist was great.

He could always draw a crowd.

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What is the result of an art competition?

A draw.

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Did you hear about the red panda’s art exhibition?

It was panda-monium!

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A painter was murdered while working in his latest painting.

The police still can’t see the full picture.

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My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.

When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

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What killed the painter?

He had too many strokes.

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An art dealer and a painter are having a conversation.

Art dealer: β€œI have good news and bad news. Good news is, a person came up to me this afternoon to ask about the value of your art. When I told him that it would increase in value after your death, he immediately bought ALL of them.”

Painter: β€œWow! What’s the bad news?”

Art dealer: β€œHe was your doctor.”

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Husband: β€œIt says here, that over 5,000 camels are used to make paintbrushes each year.”

Wife: β€œIsn’t it amazing what they can teach camels to do nowadays?”

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A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, β€œWhat’s this?”

The kid says, β€œA picture of a cow eating grass.”

The teacher asks, β€œWhere’s the grass?”

The kid says, β€œThe cow ate it all.”

β€œOk, then where’s the cow?”

β€œIt left because there was no more grass.”

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A young artist exhibits his work for the first time and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, β€œWould you like my opinion on your work?”

β€œYes,” says the artist.

β€œIt’s worthless,” says the critic.

The artist replies, β€œI know, but tell me anyway.”

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How can an artist fill in a CV?

Drawing from experience.

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It’s amazing that Leonardo da Vinci could paint and invent and still find time to be a crime-fighting turtle.

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My friend was a struggling artist until he decided to just do sculptures.

He made over six figures last year.

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What kind of shoes do artists wear?


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Today, I found out there are places that sell fake scallops made out of white fish.

There are a lot of cod artists out there.

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A couple goes to an art gallery.

They find a picture of a woman with only her privates covered with leaves.

The wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks: β€œWhat are you waiting for?”

The husband replies, β€œAutumn.”

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What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

β€œI love you with all my art!”

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