Aristocrat Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Aristocrat Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Aristocrat Jokes

Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?

He was the last of his race!

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What do rednecks and aristocrats have in common?

Both groups like marrying their cousins.

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An aristocrat Bostonian lady hired a new chauffeur.

As they started out on their first drive, she inquired, β€œWhat is your name?”

β€œThomas, ma’am,” he answered.

β€œWhat is your last name,” she said. β€œI never call chauffeurs by their first names.”

β€œDarling, Thomas Darling,Β ma’am,” he replied.

β€œDrive on, Thomas,” she said.

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Several aristocrats are having a party on a cruise ship, when the captain comes down and interrupts.

β€œI have some good news and some bad news,” he says. β€œWhich do you want to hear first?”

β€œGood!” everyone says in unison.

The captain says, β€œWe won eleven Oscars!”

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An aristocrat, his chef and chief engineer were set to be executed during the French Revolution.

The aristocrat is brought to the guillotine and said, β€œI am not afraid of my mortality. I refuse a blindfold and I wish to be face up, so I can look death straight in the eyes!”

The executioner accepted this request, placed the man in the guillotine and pulled the lever... but nothing happened! The blade did not drop! It was declared an act of God and proof of his innocence, and he was released.

The chef is brought to the guillotine and requests to be beheaded face up as well. And again, when the executioner pulled the lever, the blade remained motionless! The chef was released and joined his master.

Finally, the engineer is brought to the executioner. He, too, requests to lie supine.

As the executioner is about to pull the lever, the engineer exclaims, β€œOH! I see your problem!”

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