Apple Jokes
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Apple Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A little boy had a crush on his teacher, but she was dating a doctor.
So the boy brought his teacher an apple everyday.
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Why do pigs go to New York City?
To see the Big Apple.
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Let me tell you how I became a millionaire.
First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings.
Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars.
With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1 dollar each and again sold them for 2 dollars each.
Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each.
Now I had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on.
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large tray of apples. The nun posted a sign on the apples tray: Take only one. God is watching.
Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
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The first commandment was... when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
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What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
Pineapple.
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“Dad, do you like baked apples?”
“Yes son, why?”
“The orchard’s on fire.”
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Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice.
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What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
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What kind of apple isn’t an apple?
A pineapple.
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How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down hill.
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What was Newton’s most favorite dessert?
An apple pi.
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Why did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to fast track his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?
I’m never gonna run around and dessert you.
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I own a solar powered food maker.
It’s an apple tree.
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