Apple Jokes



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Apple Jokes


Elon Musk has come up with a foolproof plan of destroying Apple because they refuse to advertise on Twitter.

He plans to buy it.

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A little boy had a crush on his teacher, but she was dating a doctor.

So the boy brought his teacher an apple everyday.

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Why do pigs go to New York City?

To see the Big Apple.

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Let me tell you how I became a millionaire.

First, I bought one apple for a dollar with my savings.

Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars.

With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1 dollar each and again sold them for 2 dollars each.

Now I had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each.

Now I had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on.

A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large tray of apples. The nun posted a sign on the apples tray: Take only one. God is watching.

Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, β€œTake all you want. God is watching the apples.”

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The first commandment was... when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

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What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

Pineapple.

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β€œDad, do you like baked apples?”

β€œYes son, why?”

β€œThe orchard’s on fire.”

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Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?

Because he ran out of juice.

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What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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What kind of apple isn’t an apple?

A pineapple.

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How do you make an apple turnover?

Push it down hill.

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What was Newton’s most favorite dessert?

An apple pi.

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Why did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to fast track his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?

I’m never gonna run around and dessert you.

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I own a solar powered food maker.

It’s an apple tree.

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