Animal Puns



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Animal Puns. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Animal Puns


Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did the father squirrel tell his son?

Acorny joke.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What does a squirrel wear on its feet?

Cashews.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a holy squirrel?

A chipmunk.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I was reading a story about dragons the other day It just seemed to drag-on and on.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why are dragons such good storytellers?

Because they have long tails.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What is a European dragon’s favorite food?

Swiss charred.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s a dragon’s favorite snack?

Fire-crackers.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why was the T-Rex Cafe always hiring?

No matter what, they always seemed a bit short handed.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer CafΓ©?

Chocolate Moose.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the vampire strike out?

He used the wrong bat.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?

Because it had appeal.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?

For a bat, every room is the batroom.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How does a tiger move a boat?

He uses roars.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My Ph.D. thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii.

To understand it all, I had to visit the ancient mooins.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?

It wants to keep its Stockholm.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a fasting camel?

Hump-less.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How do you call a cow in Ramadan?

A Mooslim.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a Muslim crocodile?

An Allahgator.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s a sheep’s favorite holy text?

The Baa-ble.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Where do bad beavers go?

They’re dammed to hell.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.

He said, β€œSi.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call an Italian mosquito?

Malario.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?

A ciao ciao.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a Portuguese person all by themself?

A Portugoose.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

She was afraid someone would Caesar.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

β€œWing, wing.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call rain on Turkey Day?

Fowl weather.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys.

But it was removed because of fowl language.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What kind of key is edible?

A turkey on Thanksgiving.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?

You butterball-ieve it.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria?

Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why do some people not like a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys?

Because of fowl language.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?

Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call an important English snake?

Sir Pent.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What is a monkey’s favorite day of the year?

The first of Ape-ril.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How do deer celebrate April Fool’s Day?

They pronk each other.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I got a pet owl named Robin.

Robin Hoo-d.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call an owl with a deep voice?

A growl.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What happens if an owl doesn’t wash?

It smells fowl.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the owl ’owl?

Because the woodpecker would peck ’er.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s an owl’s favorite subject at school?

Owl-gebra.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Britain’s most common owl?

The teatowel.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a flying pig?

Swine flu.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The bird developed an illness.

I think it started when the bird flu.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Did you hear about the pig who got sick after catching a flight?

Swine flu.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


They said when pigs fly...

But the swine already flu.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a unicorn who got a flu shot?

An immunicorn.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


They ran out crying β€˜bird flu’!!!

I looked up and couldn’t see any, I’m sure they were lying.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Outbreak: New strain of bird flu discovered!!!

It’s called Chirpies.

It’s a canarial disease.

It’s untweetable.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The bird flu is pretty nasty.

Luckily, it’s tweetable.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s the first sign that you have caught bird flu?

Fowl symptoms.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and one requires an oinkment.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call oyster nuns?

Cloisters.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What is a bear’s favorite dessert?

Blue beary pie.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I tried to dye my dog’s hair blue.

But I guess he was blue-ish.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I saw a blue crab today.

It was quite a claw-some sight.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a depressed unicorn?

A blue-corn.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a blue owl?

A hoo-dini.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why do blue whales need computers?

To go on their whale-net.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a blue cat that likes to race?

A fast purrr-ple.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the bluebird get kicked out of the forest?

Because it was a bird of pray.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a group of blue whales?

A pod of blues.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?

Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the bat walk in her pajamas to take a bath?

Because she did not have a bat robe.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What does an owl need after taking a bath?

A t-owl.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Where do birds meet for coffee?

In a Nest-cafe.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My red panda went on a shopping spree and ended up with a paw-ful of amazing deals.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


When the red panda got tired, it decided to take a koala-ty nap.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The red panda had a wild night last night.

He was caught red-handed.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How does a red panda flirt with her crush?

She gives them a bamboozling smile.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why was the red panda good at math?

It always knew how to add-bear the numbers.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Red pandas never skip leg day.

Their hopping skills are paws-itively impressive.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the red panda bring a ladder?

It wanted to reach new heights-bear.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the red panda become an actor?

It had a panda-mic personality.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Did you hear about the red panda’s art exhibition?

It was panda-monium!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a red panda dentist?

A molar bear.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did the red panda say after winning a race?

β€œI’m un-bear-ably fast!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What’s a skunk’s philosophy of life?

Eat, stink, and be merry.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor?

Rabbit De Niro.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a male buffalo?

A buffellow.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why is a panda the most dangerous animal in the animal kingdom?

Because the panda eats shoots and leaves.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What is the official animal of National Pi Day?

The pi-thon.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did the dragon say to the bad employee?

You’re fired.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do dragons like with their soup?

Firecrackers.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My dragon is asleep.

He’s now dragoff.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a dragon with no wings?

Draggin.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I am sad to leave the alpaca alone again.

Spending time with him was fun wool it lasted.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My kid has a stuffed alpaca toy.

I call it her Dolly Llama.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


If you get kissed by an alpaca, it’s not the end of the world.

It’s the alpaca-lips.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm, next time Alpaca lunch.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did Mario say when he saw the Alpaca?

Don’t-a worry it’s a false-a llama!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What did the talent scout say about the juggling alpaca?

That alpaca is one of the most tailented alpacas around.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What is an alpaca that is mixed with a dog called?

A Wool-f.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Did you hear about the bird flu?

I mean, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. They tend to do that quite often.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Bird flu.

Bird landed.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call an animal found under the avocado tree?

A guaca-mole.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a religious animal that loves sandwiches?

The Deli Llama.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I recently heard that Turkeys aren’t allowed to play baseball.

No matter how many times they hit, they’ll always hit fowl balls.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Two monkeys are sharing an Amazon account, guess what are they called?

Prime mates.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Scientists experimented on a rabbit and a bug, guess what they get?

A bugs bunny.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?

Thoroughbred.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Which type of cheese do racehorses like best?

Masc-a-pony.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse?

The police horse goes β€œNeigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw”.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did a dog enter the church in the middle of a religious mass?

Because he was a German shepherd.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face?

Claude.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why do anteaters never get colds?

Because their noses are full of anty-bodies!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls! If they were boys, they’d be uncles.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What insect comes from the moon?

A luna tick!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him.

I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure-bread dog.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the cat like eating lemons?

Because he was a sourpuss.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2024 jokes.best