Amazing Jokes



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Amazing Jokes


The bed-and-breakfast was owned by a little old lady who would cook the most amazing biscuits for breakfast every morning.

The guy loved these biscuits so much that he would eat five or six every morning, and he even extended his stay at the bed-and-breakfast just so he could eat more of these amazing biscuits.

Finally, after a few weeks he decided to ask her, β€œMa’am, these are the most amazing biscuits I have ever eaten in my life. Ho do you make them taste so good?”

The little old lady smiled and said, β€œIt’s nothing really. All I do is mix about 2 cups of flour with one teaspoon of sugar, one tablespoon of baking powder, and three mouth fulls of buttermilk.”

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Why is a river an amazing roommate?

He just likes to go with the flow.

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What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?

A peak experience.

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The human brain is amazing.

It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.

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Husband: β€œIt says here, that over 5,000 camels are used to make paintbrushes each year.”

Wife: β€œIsn’t it amazing what they can teach camels to do nowadays?”

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I went out the other day and there was a butterfly wrapped up in a web.

A few days later it had turned into a spider.

Natures amazing.

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I just got a job at a pharmacy. The pay isn’t great...

But the percs are amazing!

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Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.

His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached.

The next day he goes to see his chum and finds him playing tennis.

β€œIncredible!,” says his friend.

β€œMedical science is amazing!”

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off.

Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached.

The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.

β€œIncredible!,” says his friend.

β€œMedical science is amazing!”

Well, another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head.

Well, his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached.

The next day he goes to see his friend but can’t find him.

He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, β€œDoc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday.”

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, β€œOh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.”

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