Alligator Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Alligator Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Alligator Jokes

Two guys were sitting on a dock in Georgia, drinking beer and fishing with their feet dangling in the water.

One guy said, β€œOh no, An alligator just bit one of my feet off!”

The other guy said, β€œWhich one?”

And the first guy said, β€œHow should I know? All the alligators look alike.”

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I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet!

Most of them only have 4 though.

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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn’t want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the β€œno haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, β€œMaybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, β€œBy all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.

Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, β€œDarn, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

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How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

You will see one later and one in a while.

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A mother sends her son to the well to fetch water.

When the boy comes back without water, he explains that there was an alligator in the well.

β€œDon’t worry,” says the mother. β€œThe alligator is just as scared of you as you are of him!”

β€œMom,” says the boy, β€œif the alligator is as scared of me as I am of him, we shouldn’t be drinking that water.”

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Guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator!

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