Enjoy our team's carefully selected Alligator Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a Muslim crocodile?
An Allahgator.
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So one day, grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it back to grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket, and where’s my water?” grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that waterhole, grandma,” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt anyone. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
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Two guys were sitting on a dock in Georgia, drinking beer and fishing with their feet dangling in the water.
One guy said, “Oh no, An alligator just bit one of my feet off!”
The other guy said, “Which one?”
And the first guy said, “How should I know? All the alligators look alike.”
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I found out today that some alligators grow up to 15 feet!
Most of them only have 4 though.
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn’t want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”
The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Darn, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”
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How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
You will see one later and one in a while.
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A mother sends her son to the well to fetch water.
When the boy comes back without water, he explains that there was an alligator in the well.
“Don’t worry,” says the mother. “The alligator is just as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Mom,” says the boy, “if the alligator is as scared of me as I am of him, we shouldn’t be drinking that water.”
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Guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator!
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