Alcoholic Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Alcoholic Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Alcoholic Jokes


Alcohol is a perfect solvent.

It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

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What do alcoholics and chemists have in common?

They both view alcohol as a solution.

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An alcoholic wakes up in jail on New Yearโ€™s Eve.

He asks the first police officer he sees, โ€œWhy am I here?โ€

โ€œFor drinking,โ€ replies the officer.

โ€œGreat,โ€ says the man, โ€œWhen do we start?โ€

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Alcoholics donโ€™t run in my family.

But sometimes they fall down the stairs.

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โ€œHi, my name is Bob, and Iโ€™m an alcoholic.โ€

โ€œSir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous.โ€

โ€œI know, Iโ€™m just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.โ€

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If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic.

If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic?

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Priest: Donโ€™t drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.โ€

Alcoholic: โ€œReally? What about the guy who sells the liquor?โ€

Priest: โ€œHe will also go to Hell.โ€ Alcoholic: โ€œOk, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and puts out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store?โ€ Priest: โ€œShe too will go to Hell.โ€ Alcoholic: โ€œIn that case, I have no problem going to Hell.โ€

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