Enjoy our team's carefully selected Alcoholic Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Judge: βOn what grounds do you want a divorce?β
Husband: βMy wife is out all night, every night! From bar to bar, almost visits all the bars and pubs in town every day!β
Judge: βYou mean to say sheβs severely alcoholic and cheats on you every day?β
Husband: βNo, sheβs out looking for me!β
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Alcohol is a perfect solvent.
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
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What do alcoholics and chemists have in common?
They both view alcohol as a solution.
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An alcoholic wakes up in jail on New Yearβs Eve.
He asks the first police officer he sees, βWhy am I here?β
βFor drinking,β replies the officer.
βGreat,β says the man, βWhen do we start?β
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Alcoholics donβt run in my family.
But sometimes they fall down the stairs.
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βHi, my name is Bob, and Iβm an alcoholic.β
βSir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous.β
βI know, Iβm just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.β
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If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic.
If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic?
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Priest: Donβt drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.β
Alcoholic: βReally? What about the guy who sells the liquor?β
Priest: βHe will also go to Hell.β Alcoholic: βOk, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and puts out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store?β Priest: βShe too will go to Hell.β Alcoholic: βIn that case, I have no problem going to Hell.β
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