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Alcoholic Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Alcoholic Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Alcoholic Jokes


Alcohol is a perfect solvent.

It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do alcoholics and chemists have in common?

They both view alcohol as a solution.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


An alcoholic wakes up in prison.

He asks the first police officer he sees, β€œWhy am I here?”

β€œFor drinking,” replies the officer.

β€œGreat,” says the man, β€œWhen do we start?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Alcoholics don’t run in my family.

But sometimes they fall down the stairs.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


β€œHi, my name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic.”

β€œSir, this is Triple A, not Alcoholics Anonymous.”

β€œI know, I’m just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic.

If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic?

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Priest: Don’t drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.”

Alcoholic: β€œReally? What about the guy who sells the liquor?”

Priest: β€œHe will also go to Hell.” Alcoholic: β€œOk, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and puts out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store?” Priest: β€œShe too will go to Hell.” Alcoholic: β€œIn that case, I have no problem going to Hell.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„





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