Aging Jokes



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Aging Jokes


I asked my aging father why he doesn’t have life insurance.

β€œBecause, son, I want you to be truly sad when I die.”

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A reporter was interviewing a 102-year-old woman.

β€œWhat’s the secret to your longevity?”, he asked.

Old woman: β€œSimple. The biggest cause of aging is stress, and the biggest cause of stress is arguing with people. So I never argue with anyone.”

The reporter laughed, β€œThat’s ridiculous. That can’t be the real reason.”

The old lady smiled and nodded, β€œYou’re probably right.”

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Marri-Age and Old-Age

Relative: β€œYou are getting old. You should get married now.”

Me: β€œWill that stop aging?”

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Deep sleep prevents aging.

Especially when you are driving.

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I accidentally got anti aging cream on my block of cheddar.

I’ve now got milk all over the kitchen top.

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Wife: β€œDo men wipe after they pee?”

Aging husband: β€œYes. Wipe the floor, wipe the rim, wipe the wall…”

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What did the aging 007 say to his pharmacist?

Bond. Gold Bond.

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What is a prize old people can win for aging?

Atrophy.

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Nothing changes when you cross thirty, except that you have to replace your moisturizer with anti-aging cream.

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