Enjoy our team's carefully selected Actor Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
When Chuck Norris tells a joke about Will Smith’s wife, Will Smith slaps himself.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double for crying scenes.
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Chuck Norris never won an Oscar because he is NOT acting.
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What did the aging 007 say to his pharmacist?
Bond. Gold Bond.
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What is the definition of overcast?
When Harry Potter messes up a spell.
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What is Harry Potter’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
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Why did the red panda become an actor?
It had a panda-mic personality.
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Young actor: “Dad, guess what? I’ve just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who’s been married for 30 years.”
Father: “Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you’ll get a speaking part.”
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An actor suffering from dementia just hit my car. I got him arrested.
As he was getting arrested, he kept saying, “Do you know who I am?!”
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Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
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Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor?
Rabbit De Niro.
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What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
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An actor I know fell through the floor recently.
It’s just a stage he was going through.
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Who are the biggest fans at the theater?
The backstage crew—they’re always giving props to the actors.
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I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining.
He just couldn’t find a role he could sink his teeth into.
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Which actor is now being quarantined for swine flu?
Kevin Bacon.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Depends on what it says in the script.
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Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?
Because it was making him Moody.
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How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?
With Dementos.
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What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?
Why so Sirius?
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Why does Voldemort only use Twitter and not Facebook?
Because he only has followers, not friends.
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What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
A Volt-demort.
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Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?
Because he was cursing in class.
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Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?
Nobody nose.
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What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
The Dinosorcerer.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think it’s a bit unrealistic if you ask me.
I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? How?
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Why is an alien like a collection of famous actors’ autographs?
They’ve both come from the stars.
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What did the man with a beard call his pottery shop?
Hairy Potter.
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