Jokes on Accounts

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Account Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Account Jokes

Man tries to open a bank account.

Teller asks him, β€œYour name?”

β€œJ-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh.”

β€œOh, you stutter?”

β€œNo, my dad did, but the person, who did by birth certificate, was a complete moron!”

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Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a slim body.

Please do not mix it up like last year.

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At the bank, I told the cashier, β€œI would like to open a joint account.”

He asked, β€œWith whom?”

I answered, β€œWith whomsoever has lots of money.”

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Someone once told me that taking money out of your savings account is stealing from your future self.

Well luckily for me my future self won’t be able to afford a lawyer to press charges against me.

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What happens after you have a beautiful girlfriend, a million-dollar car, 100 million in your bank account, several houses and a fit body?

You wake up.

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Can anyone recommend a good bank account?

Mine’s run out of money...

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Mama always said β€œWork until your bank account looks like a phone number.”

Well, I did it! Bank balance: 911!

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My girlfriend has an OnlyFans account and it’s doing really well.

I just have to figure out how to break the news to her.

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