AA Jokes

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AA Jokes

I quickly learned that the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk.

Is one of them attends meetings.

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An alcoholic is driving home from the bar at 3 am, totally annihilated.

He’s swerving between lanes and gets spotted by a patrol officer, who then pulls him over.

The cop asks the inebriated man where he’s headed at such a late hour.

The drunk replies, “I’m just going to a lecture, officer.”

In disbelief, the officer asks, “Who would be giving a lecture this late?”

The alcoholic replies, “My wife.”

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Johnny is struggling with recovery and, as luck would have it, he is pulled over by a policeman the one time he slips up.

“Sir, I smell alcohol on your breath. Have you been drinking today?”

“Well, officer, you’d be drinking too if you’d just killed your wife.”

“WHAT!? Are you confessing to murder?”

“The handgun is hidden under the seat. Her body, bless her soul, is wrapped in a sheet in the trunk of the car.”

The officer, stunned, handcuffs Johnny and calls for his sergeant.

The sergeant arrives, takes the car keys and opens the trunk.

“There’s no body in here,” he says to the patrolman. “I thought you said there was a homicide?”

He then searches under the seat, “And no gun either.”

The sergeant turns to Johnny for an explanation.

“Gee, I bet he said I was drinking too.”

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Why aren’t people in recovery good dancers?

They lose interest after twelve steps.

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Why did the accountant do so well in AA?

He was already a friend of bills.

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Did you hear about the drunk who thought Alcoholics Anonymous meant drinking under an assumed name?

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