A Man Walks Into a Bar Jokes
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A man walked into a Florida bar with his crocodile and asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
Bartender: “Sure.”
Man: “Good. One beer for me and a lawyer for my crocodile.”
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A blind man walks into a bar...
And a wall, and a tree, and a cactus.
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A man runs into a bar and shouts, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?!”
The bartender says, “Depends. Less than 3 feet.”
The man cries out, “Oh my God! I just drove over a nun!”
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A man walks into a bar...
His alcoholism is destroying his family.
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A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, “Why have you got a fried egg on your head?”
The man replies, “Because boiled eggs fall off.”
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A man and his family walk into a bar.
Inside the bar, the man’s youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating “World’s longest memory”.
The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true.
The child asks, “What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?”
The Native American states, “Eggs.”
The child states that the native could have just made that up, and then later leaves the bar.
Years later, when the child returns with his own family, he sees the same Native American at the bar.
Walking up to the man, he states a stereotypical, “How!”
The Native American replies, “Scrambled.”
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A man walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender.
He says, “You’ve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?” The bartender turns to the band and yells, “Frank, I’ve got a lead on the guy who ruined your sax!”
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A man walks into a bar sporting the worst haircut you’ve ever seen.
“Give me two shots of Jack Daniels,” he says to the bartender. “One for me, and one for you.”
“You know, I don’t drink on the job,” the bartender says, pouring the man a shot.
Downing the drink, the man replies, “And that’s why I like you better than my barber!”
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A bearded man walks into a bar, “Everybody’s drinks are on me tonight!”
He then drank his beer, went to the restroom and shaved his beard.
later he went to the bartender and asked, “How much should I pay?”
“No, sir, a bearded gentleman has paid for your drink tonight.”
“Ok,” and he left.
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