Enjoy our team's carefully selected 50th Birthday Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
If you add the two numbers in your chronological age, you get your true age.
So you’re 5 now, and you can’t really argue the similarities. Five-year-olds have a tough time tying their shoes, can barely spell their own name, and need help reading!
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“It’s your birthday? How old are you?” asks the man’s friend.
“I’m seven and one-seventh,” replies the man.
“How’s that, you look about 50 to me?” asks the friend.
“Every time I chat up a nice lady she calls me an old dog, so I figure I get to count age in dog years now!”
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Why can you trust your friends more after turning 50?
Because you can’t even remember each other’s names, let alone your deepest secrets!
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What do you call a 50-year-old soldier guarding a building?
Half a sentry.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Me.”
“Me, who?”
“Oh no, the forgetfulness has started already!”
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You know you’re 50 when that come hither look you used to have in your eyes just doesn’t look as enticing through your bifocals.
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You know you’re 50 when you’re thankful when someone tells you that you have lipstick on your teeth because it means you still have teeth.
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You know you’re 50 when your face has more wrinkles than an elephant’s backside.
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You know you’re 50 when you and your teeth have decided that a separation is the best thing for your relationship.
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You know you’re 50 when you have to use your GPS to locate your feet because you can’t see over your belly.
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You know you’re 50 when you now have more hair on your knuckles than you do on your head.
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